Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Why I served a Mormon Mission XII
As we ran off the bus we were greeted by the night air of San Diego and the yelling and screaming of some highly motivated Marine Corps Drill Instructors. We were instructed to line up and to look to our left where several dozen yellow foot prints were painted on the ground with the feet at forty-five degree angles. We were informed that thousands of men who were better than us who had earned the title of US Marine had stood on these same yellow foot prints and that we were not worthy to even be near them. However despite our unworthiness we were ordered to stand on the yellow foot prints. We were very quickly taught what the position of attention was and what left face and right face meant. The Uniform Code of Military Justice was read to us and we were informed that we were under it and that if we failed in any part of it we would be punished. We were then told that whenever we were given an order from a Drill Instructor we were to move as if we were on fire and instantly obey that order. We then went through some doors into the receiving building. Inside this building we went through an assortment of new activities. I don't remember the exact order of things but these are the things that happened. We went into a red room where we stripped down to our underwear and were stripped of everything that was incompatible with Marine Corps boot camp. Some people lost pictures of their girl friends, some lost books or magazines. I was questioned as to why I had so many books with me and I responded that they were all my bibles. Before the Drill Instructor could continue questioning me another Drill Instructor stormed by and noticed my scriptures and he said they were okay. The original drill instructor still wasn't done with me yet and he saw my patriarchal blessing folded up in one of my scriptures and he grabbed and I was worried that he would rip it up or throw it away as I had seen happen to other pieces of paper. He asked what it was and I told him it was part of my bibles and from my church and he looked it over and gave it back much to my relief. One kid for whatever reason brought a condom and he was asked what he planned to do with that condom when he was going to be surrounded by guys for the next three months. After everything that was considered contraband was taken away and disposed of we were sent to another room where we received our new uniforms and boxed up our civilian clothes and wallets. At some point during the night I don't remember if it was one of the first things or after we had went to the red room we were taken to get our heads shaved. Having your hair cut in boot camp is not a fun experience. Several times myself or a fellow recruit ended up leaving the barber with blood trickling down our scalps because our head was shaved so quickly. This first time however was the worst. After a recruit has gone through his first couple of days his visual appearance and character is not that much different that Smeagles in Lord of the rings. A shaven head is part of that change that starts to take a civilian to a recruit who will after 3 months in the larval stage turn into a United States Marine. The rest of the night seemed to fly by with me receiving more information than I could possibly ever remember. However after what seemed like countless hours we finally went to our barracks with who I thought was going to be our drill instructor for the remaining three months. However this was just the receiving barracks drill instructor who we would only be with for a few days.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Why I served a Mormon Mission Part XI
I got up early the next morning and got up to catch the Bus that was to pick all of the future recruits up and take us to MEPS. When I arrived at MEPS it seemed like I was quickly processed from one place to another and withing a few hours after arriving at MEPS I was sitting at the Salt Lake City airport awaiting my plane to arrive so it could take us to MCRD San Diego. I remember sitting on the floor next to where our plane should arrive and reading through the accounts in the Book of Mormon detailing the exploits of the Army of Helaman and wondering how I would ever become like those young men without having had the upbringing that they had. However once our plane arrived and we all boarded I found myself remembering the words of wisdom I had heard earlier that day to get as much sleep as I possibly could because I wouldn't be getting very much of it for a long time. I tried to fall asleep on the plane ride there but sleep never came. My mind was thinking about what was about to happen. I wondered how hard was it really going to be and if I would be up to the challenge. I spent most of the plane ride silently reading my little red book of Mormon President Clark had given me. I had most of my really close friends like Jeff Spears, Michelle, Sheena, Brother Cardon, Bishop Donaldson, and President Clark write their testimonies in military scriptures on the blank pages because I wanted them to be there in case my faith ever wavered that I would have some anchors securing my testimony if I fell. I also had my mother and Nana write short little messages as well. All of these ended up being a strength and a comfort to me during some of the darkest days of boot camp. We had a layover in Las Vegas and several of the guys bought some pornographic magazines they planned on taking with them to boot camp. I strove to maintain some kind of grasp on the Holy Ghost as my fellow recruits mentioned the various attributes of the women and other things that I would rather not repeat. On the plane ride from Las Vegas to San Diego I felt a deep, dark cloud hanging over me. I almost felt like a prisoner awaiting execution. At the same time I also was looking forward to earning the title of US Marine.
Eventually our plane landed in San Diego and as we landed I didn't even realize that MCRD San Diego is right next to the airport. I made my way to the USO and checked in there and they gave us a five minute phone card to call home and inform our family that we had arrived safely in Sand Diego. I tried to find a phone to call home but they were all busy with other people talking on them. I found a spot on the wall next to the door and tried to get a little sleep since we had three or four hours before we were due at MCRD. I was to excited and scared to catch any sleep. All of the sudden it seemed like everyone was moving and there was yelling from the sliding glass door. A man who seemed like he was ten feet tall and bullet proof suddenly appeared an their was no question that he was to be obeyed or the very wrath of hell would soon be unleashed upon us. He yelled for us to assemble ourselves outside in alphabetical order and we moved outside and did as he ordered us to. He then read through the manila folders he had that contained our orders and he took a roll call. A bus shortly arrived thereafter. When he was done making sure everyone was present and accounted for me told us to get on the bus. Once we were all crammed on the bus with people sitting on the floor he instructed us to put our heads between our knees and kiss our butts goodbye because we belonged to him now. He instructed us to keep our heads between our knees and not look up until he told us to. I was trembling with both excitement and fear as I felt the bus start to move toward MCRD San Diego. I dared not look up to see where we were going. I envisioned that Drill Instructor standing with his smokey the bear, arms crossed over his chest just waiting for the first person who would be stupid enough to look up and I didn't want that person to be me. I already felt that the safest course of action for me was to blend in during boot camp and just be a nameless face. It felt like we were traveling forever as the bus rolled down the road. My mind was trying to imagine what kind of place boot camp would be but nothing had prepared me for what I was about to experience. The bus suddenly came to an abrupt halt and once again I heard a voice that scared me and compelled me to obey at the same time. That voice said, "You, have 60 seconds to get off my bus! I promise you, Don't be the last one off the bus." The effect of that statement on a bus full of over a hundred people was worse then if someone shouted fire in a crowded theater. None of us dared to be the last person off that bus. As we got off the bus we were greeted by a plethora of Drill Instructors who were yelling and pointing and screaming.
Eventually our plane landed in San Diego and as we landed I didn't even realize that MCRD San Diego is right next to the airport. I made my way to the USO and checked in there and they gave us a five minute phone card to call home and inform our family that we had arrived safely in Sand Diego. I tried to find a phone to call home but they were all busy with other people talking on them. I found a spot on the wall next to the door and tried to get a little sleep since we had three or four hours before we were due at MCRD. I was to excited and scared to catch any sleep. All of the sudden it seemed like everyone was moving and there was yelling from the sliding glass door. A man who seemed like he was ten feet tall and bullet proof suddenly appeared an their was no question that he was to be obeyed or the very wrath of hell would soon be unleashed upon us. He yelled for us to assemble ourselves outside in alphabetical order and we moved outside and did as he ordered us to. He then read through the manila folders he had that contained our orders and he took a roll call. A bus shortly arrived thereafter. When he was done making sure everyone was present and accounted for me told us to get on the bus. Once we were all crammed on the bus with people sitting on the floor he instructed us to put our heads between our knees and kiss our butts goodbye because we belonged to him now. He instructed us to keep our heads between our knees and not look up until he told us to. I was trembling with both excitement and fear as I felt the bus start to move toward MCRD San Diego. I dared not look up to see where we were going. I envisioned that Drill Instructor standing with his smokey the bear, arms crossed over his chest just waiting for the first person who would be stupid enough to look up and I didn't want that person to be me. I already felt that the safest course of action for me was to blend in during boot camp and just be a nameless face. It felt like we were traveling forever as the bus rolled down the road. My mind was trying to imagine what kind of place boot camp would be but nothing had prepared me for what I was about to experience. The bus suddenly came to an abrupt halt and once again I heard a voice that scared me and compelled me to obey at the same time. That voice said, "You, have 60 seconds to get off my bus! I promise you, Don't be the last one off the bus." The effect of that statement on a bus full of over a hundred people was worse then if someone shouted fire in a crowded theater. None of us dared to be the last person off that bus. As we got off the bus we were greeted by a plethora of Drill Instructors who were yelling and pointing and screaming.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Why I served a Mormon Mission Part X
It was an amazing thing to be able not only to witness my grandmother's baptism but also to be able to baptize her with the power and authority of the restored priesthood of God. However after we left Texas we drove up to my mother's cabin in Colorado so I could spend a few days with her before I left for boot camp. We then went down to Lake Powell where my father lived and I spent my last days as a civilian with him. Staff Sergeant Keach who was my recruiter had been calling my father non stop the last week I was gone in Texas asking my father where I was and if I was still going to go to boot camp. As far as I was concerned I had swore an oath before God and witnesses that I would join the Marine Corps and that I would defend our Constitution from all enemies foreign and domestic. I could not see how I could be an honorable Latter-Day Saint and worthy of a temple recommend if I did not do what I said I would do. My father had taught me that there are few things that a man can truly call his own and one of those things is his word.
Well that fateful day finally arrived that I was to meet SSgt Keach across the lake at Bullfrog. My father drove me across the lake from Halls Crossing to Bullfrog. When we arrived at the public launch ramp SSgt Keach was there waiting for us. My father pulled SSgt Keach aside and I heard him tell SSgt Keach that if anything bad happened to me that he would spend the rest of his life making life very hard for any Marines he came across. I then got into the car with SSgt Keach and we started on our way up to Salt Lake City.
We stopped in Price, Utah because Sheena was still with me and her Father was going to meet us in Price so that he could pick her up. After we dropped Sheena off we continued up to Salt Lake City. When we finally got there SSgt Keach dropped me off at the hotel that was really close to temple square. As I checked into my hotel room it started to hit me what I was about to embark upon. A part of me was very scared and worried yet another part of me was excited and full of hope. After sitting in my room for about thirty minuets I decided to go an walk around temple square and just bask in the spirit of the Lord before I went to boot camp. I walked around the temple a few times and then looked at the visitor center there on temple square and wondered who got to go in the big doors to go into the temple. I sat there watching the doors for about thirty minutes and never saw anyone go inside.
On a side note it was only many years later that I finally came to figure out this mystery. I was going to the sealing of a wonderful lady that I met in Hope Mills, North Carolina. Cassandra was getting sealed in the Salt Lake temple and she had invited me to come. I arrived early because I didn't quite know where to go. After I had look around the temple for any little doors I approached the two huge doors on the east side of the temple. Very timidly I walked up the stairs to these giant doors. When I got to the doors I reached out to the handle so I could open it only to find that the handles wouldn't turn. Well, I then did what logically came to mind I twisted harder and pulled on the door. Still nothing. I wondered silently to myself if this was some kind of sign about me not being worthy or something. I then grabbed for the handle again this time I wiggled the door hard back and forth but still nothing. When I turned around I was glad to see that no one had witnessed the denial of entry into the temple. I walked down the stairs wondering what I had done wrong that I was denied entry into the Lord's house. As I walked toward the conference center I noticed several people with temple bags going into a building. I followed them and was delighted to find the entrance to the temple and not only did I find the entrance but the wonderful man checking the recommends let me in. But its time to get back to the story at hand.
As I wondered around temple square I went into the Tabernacle. As I looked upon the beauty of this building built by pioneers I set down in a pew and bowed my head to pray to my Father in Heaven. As I beseeched my God asking for his help and guidance in the months to come I sensed that someone was near me. I lifted my head and found a man dressed in a suit there in the tabernacle with me. He walked over to me asked me if I would like a blessing. I told him I would. He then took me toward the front of the Tabernacle up by where pulpit was. He pulled out a set of keys and he opened a door and took me into the back of the tabernacle. He then pulled out a chair and gave me a blessing of peace and comfort from my Father in Heaven that would serve
to help sustain me throughout my time in the Marine Corps.
Well that fateful day finally arrived that I was to meet SSgt Keach across the lake at Bullfrog. My father drove me across the lake from Halls Crossing to Bullfrog. When we arrived at the public launch ramp SSgt Keach was there waiting for us. My father pulled SSgt Keach aside and I heard him tell SSgt Keach that if anything bad happened to me that he would spend the rest of his life making life very hard for any Marines he came across. I then got into the car with SSgt Keach and we started on our way up to Salt Lake City.
We stopped in Price, Utah because Sheena was still with me and her Father was going to meet us in Price so that he could pick her up. After we dropped Sheena off we continued up to Salt Lake City. When we finally got there SSgt Keach dropped me off at the hotel that was really close to temple square. As I checked into my hotel room it started to hit me what I was about to embark upon. A part of me was very scared and worried yet another part of me was excited and full of hope. After sitting in my room for about thirty minuets I decided to go an walk around temple square and just bask in the spirit of the Lord before I went to boot camp. I walked around the temple a few times and then looked at the visitor center there on temple square and wondered who got to go in the big doors to go into the temple. I sat there watching the doors for about thirty minutes and never saw anyone go inside.
On a side note it was only many years later that I finally came to figure out this mystery. I was going to the sealing of a wonderful lady that I met in Hope Mills, North Carolina. Cassandra was getting sealed in the Salt Lake temple and she had invited me to come. I arrived early because I didn't quite know where to go. After I had look around the temple for any little doors I approached the two huge doors on the east side of the temple. Very timidly I walked up the stairs to these giant doors. When I got to the doors I reached out to the handle so I could open it only to find that the handles wouldn't turn. Well, I then did what logically came to mind I twisted harder and pulled on the door. Still nothing. I wondered silently to myself if this was some kind of sign about me not being worthy or something. I then grabbed for the handle again this time I wiggled the door hard back and forth but still nothing. When I turned around I was glad to see that no one had witnessed the denial of entry into the temple. I walked down the stairs wondering what I had done wrong that I was denied entry into the Lord's house. As I walked toward the conference center I noticed several people with temple bags going into a building. I followed them and was delighted to find the entrance to the temple and not only did I find the entrance but the wonderful man checking the recommends let me in. But its time to get back to the story at hand.
As I wondered around temple square I went into the Tabernacle. As I looked upon the beauty of this building built by pioneers I set down in a pew and bowed my head to pray to my Father in Heaven. As I beseeched my God asking for his help and guidance in the months to come I sensed that someone was near me. I lifted my head and found a man dressed in a suit there in the tabernacle with me. He walked over to me asked me if I would like a blessing. I told him I would. He then took me toward the front of the Tabernacle up by where pulpit was. He pulled out a set of keys and he opened a door and took me into the back of the tabernacle. He then pulled out a chair and gave me a blessing of peace and comfort from my Father in Heaven that would serve
to help sustain me throughout my time in the Marine Corps.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Why I served a Mormon Mission Part VIII
As May 19th approached which was my date to enter boot camp I started to have more and more conversations with my Nana about Christ and his gospel.(remember her from my whyIamamormon blog) She was absolutely thrilled about my new found walk with Christ and we had conversations at least once or twice a week about every gospel topic under the sun. I suggested to her that she might want to meet with a few of my friends(aka the elders) who might be able to answer some her questions better than I could. I explained that all they did was study and preach the gospel so they knew a lot more than I did. So she accepted this invitation to hear the gospel and I called the mission office there in Texas and got the phone number to the missionaries in her area. I called them up on the phone and preceded to give them all the information about my Nana. Within a few days they had taught her one lesson and set an appointment for the next one.
My Nana called me through the next few weeks with many questions. Where things really started to get cool was when Nana came out for my graduation from community college. Well I decided I wanted to go out to Texas with my Nana and visit some of my family out there before I went to boot camp so went back to Texas with Nana. She had been meeting with the missionaries since I had sent them her way and on the way out to Texas between Sheena and I we talked a lot with Nana about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and by the time we arrived in Texas I had committed Nana to get baptized while I was there.
Well Nana called the missionaries and told them that she wanted to be baptized and that she wanted to be baptized before I left for boot camp. Well the missionaries made it happen and I baptized Nana that May there at the ranch by Coleman Texas. Nana was baptized in the pond down by the house in a wonderful little baptismal service where the spirit was bountiful.
After Nana was baptized I only had a few days before it was time for me to leave for boot camp. We drove out to Colorado to meet my mother and Larry at their cabin near Dolores, Colorado. I spent my last few days of civilian life there with my mother and then left to go back to Utah to meet Staff Sergent Keach and leave for boot camp.
My Nana called me through the next few weeks with many questions. Where things really started to get cool was when Nana came out for my graduation from community college. Well I decided I wanted to go out to Texas with my Nana and visit some of my family out there before I went to boot camp so went back to Texas with Nana. She had been meeting with the missionaries since I had sent them her way and on the way out to Texas between Sheena and I we talked a lot with Nana about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and by the time we arrived in Texas I had committed Nana to get baptized while I was there.
Well Nana called the missionaries and told them that she wanted to be baptized and that she wanted to be baptized before I left for boot camp. Well the missionaries made it happen and I baptized Nana that May there at the ranch by Coleman Texas. Nana was baptized in the pond down by the house in a wonderful little baptismal service where the spirit was bountiful.
After Nana was baptized I only had a few days before it was time for me to leave for boot camp. We drove out to Colorado to meet my mother and Larry at their cabin near Dolores, Colorado. I spent my last few days of civilian life there with my mother and then left to go back to Utah to meet Staff Sergent Keach and leave for boot camp.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Why I served a Mormon Mission Part VII
So there I was without a clue as to what I was going to say when I gave Marco a blessing. All that Rob and Trevor would tell me was to just say whatever the spirit told me to say. Well the next few minutes flew by and it was time to go downstairs to Marco's room. When I got down there I noticed my buddy Jeff who was baptized a few weeks after me was also there (he had been ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood at the same time as me) and he said he was supposed to anoint Marco's head with oil. Well Jeff valiantly stepped behind Marco and asked Marco his full name and proceeded to put oil oil that had been set apart for the healing of the sick and afflicted on the top of Marco's head. He then called Macro by his full name and having the power and authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood anointed him.
It was then my turn. I figured that Jeff had gotten off easy. I wished that I could have done what he did that seemed a lot easier than figuring out what to say. Well it was time to man up so I went and laid my hands on Marco's head and called him by name and said that I sealed Jeff's anointing (because that's what you're supposed to say) by the power and authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood and in the name of Jesus Christ. Then one of the most miraculous things happened. As I started to worry about what to say words all of the sudden were spoken to my mind and spirit. I felt that someone had such amazing love for Marco and all of the sudden I just started to speak and the words were there. I wasn't simply just making up things to say or coming up with random platitudes but was relaying thoughts and feelings that were not my own. I can't tell you what I said because I don't remember. It wasn't for me to remember but what I do remember is this. That the words were not mine. They came from my Father in Heaven and I was simply acting as a voice.
However on this subject of priesthood blessing there was a lesson that I learned several years afterwards. I was visiting a family in North Carolina. It was a family that the missionaries before me had found and we were checking up on them. When we arrived in the trailer park they lived in we found two young boys playing catch with football in the front yard. We asked them if there mother or father were home and they said that they both were inside. We then went and knocked on the trailer's door and the mother answered. We explained who we were and that we would like to share a message with her about Jesus Christ. She said that her daddy was a minister and she would welcome anyone into her home who spoke of Jesus and that her husband was interested in different beliefs. Well that sounded good to us and it wasn't a slammed door.
We went inside and found the husband laying on one of the couches with an IV tube stuck in his arm leading up to an IV bag. After some getting to know you talk we finally asked why he had an IV and he explained the he had an accident at work where he was using a metal drill bit and drilling into a sheet of steal and something went wrong and the bit exploded and sent metal splinters into his arm and hand and that they hadn't been able get all the splinters out and some had become infected and they were worried about the smaller ones getting into his blood stream.
We shared the first lesson with them and left a Book of Mormon with them and Mark(the father) seemed very excited to read it. We set up a return appointment to come back in two days so that we could talk to him about what he read. He said he would read it and have questions for us.
Well two days passed by and we returned to Mark's house to follow up on his reading and see where he was. He seemed a little worse off today than he was a few days back and seemed a little disheartened. We asked him if he had read and he said he was only able to get through the title page and introduction and started on third Nephi Chp 11. He asked us some questions about Joseph Smith and how the book of Mormon was found and then asked if Christ really did visit America and we responded that he had. About halfway through our explanation of Christ's visit to the Americas Mark excused himself and went quickly into the back room and we heard some coughing and hacking coming from the bathroom. His wife quickly got up and went into the bathroom. She came back out five awkward minutes later and asked us if we could come back that evening that Mark wasn't doing to well. I got a feeling that I should ask her or him if he wanted a blessing but I decided that I shouldn't and suppressed this feeling.
Well we came back that evening and Mark's wife answered the door and invited us in. We asked how Mark was and she told us Mark was in the bedroom and wasn't feeling to well but that she said she would listen to what we had to teach and share it all with Mark. Well that sounded okay to us so we taught part of the second lesson and four or five times our lesson was interrupted because she had to get up and check on Mark when we heard a really bad set of coughing. Each time she got up I got this little feeling that I should mention Priesthood blessings and that I should offer to give Mark a blessing. But each time I didn't listen to it. I was worried about if she would think we were weird or that we some kind of cult. I was also worried about what if we gave him a blessing and he didn't get better or he got worse. I was also worried about losing this family as investigators if somehow our blessing failed. So each time I got a feeling to give Mark a blessing or ask if we could I silenced that feeling and buried it deep inside me. We ended up only getting through about half the second lesson and it was time to go. We said our good byes and walked out the door. As we were walking out the front door I received a very strong impression to give mark a blessing but I walked out the door anyway. As got in the car and my companion started to drive away I received an impression to ask my companion to turn the car around and for us to knock on Mark's door and give him a blessing. However just like all the other times that day I ignored it and let my companion drive because I was afraid to give him a blessing.
We stopped by Mark's house the next day to check and see how he was doing only to find his wife crying on the front steps. Concerned we went up and asked what was wrong. She told us that Mark had gotten worse after we left and that a few hours after we left he started to get real sick and she called 911 and that Mark had died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Well the first thing I thought of was the feelings and impressions I had from the previous day to give him a blessing. I felt about as low as a man can feel but I sucked it up and asked her if she we could share one of the happiest things that we knew about. She said any ray of light would be a good appreciated.
Well we then started to explain to her about the eternal nature of families and how husbands and wives can be together forever. We explained about temples and we finished the rest of the plan of salvation lesson. She asked how it was that marriage could be forever because she had always been taught that there was no marriage in heaven. We then explained the sealing power of the priesthood and how what was sealed on Earth by this power was also sealed in Heaven. We also explained the differences between a civil marriage till Death do we part and a celestial marriage where you are sealed for time and all eternity.
She then asked us about this sealing power and the priesthood. My companion then went into all the different things that the priesthood can do and all men in the church who are in good standing can hold the Priesthood. Now comes one of the worst times in my life. She asked if we had the priesthood. My companion said that we did and all during this talk about the priesthood my heart kept getting lower and lower. She then asked if we could heal the sick with the priesthood just like Jesus did. My companion responded that we could. She then asked a question that would haunt me for many months to come. She asked, "Then why didn't you heal my husband with this power and make him better?"
Well I had thought that my heart had gotten about as low as it could get and that I couldn't get any lower but with that last question it was all I could do not to break down into tears and beg for her and my Heavenly Father's forgiveness. I felt like the lowest of the low and that I wasn't even worthy to crawl on my stomach let alone stand and be counted as one of the privileged few in these latter-days who has the blessing of being a holder of the priesthood with the ability and privilege to bless God's children. I just wanted to sit there and cry and tell her how sorry I was that I didn't ask because I was too afraid.
I didn't have anything to say and I just buried my face in my hands and tried not to cry. My companion said something that I don't remember and I didn't say anything and we left and never got to meet with Mark's family again because she moved back to Tennessee to live with her parents.
For months afterwards I was haunted with feelings of guilt and inadequacy over not giving Mark a blessing and often wondered if I would have given him a blessing if he would have gotten better and lived. However as I prayed and sought the counsel of my Father in Heaven I came to understand the lesson that I had learned. I have the power of God to bless his children. Its not something that we make up but a reality and I had it. I had the same power that caused the world to be organized out of chaos. I had the power that Christ had to heal the sick and the afflicted to cause the blind to see and the lame to walk. I wasn't given this power to simply sit their dormant but I was to use it when presented with opportunities to do so. I wasn't to seek out such opportunities but when I was presented with them I should act with faith as did my master Jesus Christ and call upon the powers of heaven to heal the sick and afflicted and bless them however my Father in Heaven directed me to.
The lesson I learned was to use the priesthood when I had an opportunity and not to be afraid of what might happen but to set into the darkness and have faith in my Savior Jesus Christ that he would light the way before me that it would no longer be darkness but light. After I realized the lesson I had learned I always listened to that voice and prompting to at least ask if someone wants a blessing from God. If they say no then its on their head but at least I have done all that I can. Since that day with Mark I have never failed to simply ask.
It was then my turn. I figured that Jeff had gotten off easy. I wished that I could have done what he did that seemed a lot easier than figuring out what to say. Well it was time to man up so I went and laid my hands on Marco's head and called him by name and said that I sealed Jeff's anointing (because that's what you're supposed to say) by the power and authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood and in the name of Jesus Christ. Then one of the most miraculous things happened. As I started to worry about what to say words all of the sudden were spoken to my mind and spirit. I felt that someone had such amazing love for Marco and all of the sudden I just started to speak and the words were there. I wasn't simply just making up things to say or coming up with random platitudes but was relaying thoughts and feelings that were not my own. I can't tell you what I said because I don't remember. It wasn't for me to remember but what I do remember is this. That the words were not mine. They came from my Father in Heaven and I was simply acting as a voice.
However on this subject of priesthood blessing there was a lesson that I learned several years afterwards. I was visiting a family in North Carolina. It was a family that the missionaries before me had found and we were checking up on them. When we arrived in the trailer park they lived in we found two young boys playing catch with football in the front yard. We asked them if there mother or father were home and they said that they both were inside. We then went and knocked on the trailer's door and the mother answered. We explained who we were and that we would like to share a message with her about Jesus Christ. She said that her daddy was a minister and she would welcome anyone into her home who spoke of Jesus and that her husband was interested in different beliefs. Well that sounded good to us and it wasn't a slammed door.
We went inside and found the husband laying on one of the couches with an IV tube stuck in his arm leading up to an IV bag. After some getting to know you talk we finally asked why he had an IV and he explained the he had an accident at work where he was using a metal drill bit and drilling into a sheet of steal and something went wrong and the bit exploded and sent metal splinters into his arm and hand and that they hadn't been able get all the splinters out and some had become infected and they were worried about the smaller ones getting into his blood stream.
We shared the first lesson with them and left a Book of Mormon with them and Mark(the father) seemed very excited to read it. We set up a return appointment to come back in two days so that we could talk to him about what he read. He said he would read it and have questions for us.
Well two days passed by and we returned to Mark's house to follow up on his reading and see where he was. He seemed a little worse off today than he was a few days back and seemed a little disheartened. We asked him if he had read and he said he was only able to get through the title page and introduction and started on third Nephi Chp 11. He asked us some questions about Joseph Smith and how the book of Mormon was found and then asked if Christ really did visit America and we responded that he had. About halfway through our explanation of Christ's visit to the Americas Mark excused himself and went quickly into the back room and we heard some coughing and hacking coming from the bathroom. His wife quickly got up and went into the bathroom. She came back out five awkward minutes later and asked us if we could come back that evening that Mark wasn't doing to well. I got a feeling that I should ask her or him if he wanted a blessing but I decided that I shouldn't and suppressed this feeling.
Well we came back that evening and Mark's wife answered the door and invited us in. We asked how Mark was and she told us Mark was in the bedroom and wasn't feeling to well but that she said she would listen to what we had to teach and share it all with Mark. Well that sounded okay to us so we taught part of the second lesson and four or five times our lesson was interrupted because she had to get up and check on Mark when we heard a really bad set of coughing. Each time she got up I got this little feeling that I should mention Priesthood blessings and that I should offer to give Mark a blessing. But each time I didn't listen to it. I was worried about if she would think we were weird or that we some kind of cult. I was also worried about what if we gave him a blessing and he didn't get better or he got worse. I was also worried about losing this family as investigators if somehow our blessing failed. So each time I got a feeling to give Mark a blessing or ask if we could I silenced that feeling and buried it deep inside me. We ended up only getting through about half the second lesson and it was time to go. We said our good byes and walked out the door. As we were walking out the front door I received a very strong impression to give mark a blessing but I walked out the door anyway. As got in the car and my companion started to drive away I received an impression to ask my companion to turn the car around and for us to knock on Mark's door and give him a blessing. However just like all the other times that day I ignored it and let my companion drive because I was afraid to give him a blessing.
We stopped by Mark's house the next day to check and see how he was doing only to find his wife crying on the front steps. Concerned we went up and asked what was wrong. She told us that Mark had gotten worse after we left and that a few hours after we left he started to get real sick and she called 911 and that Mark had died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Well the first thing I thought of was the feelings and impressions I had from the previous day to give him a blessing. I felt about as low as a man can feel but I sucked it up and asked her if she we could share one of the happiest things that we knew about. She said any ray of light would be a good appreciated.
Well we then started to explain to her about the eternal nature of families and how husbands and wives can be together forever. We explained about temples and we finished the rest of the plan of salvation lesson. She asked how it was that marriage could be forever because she had always been taught that there was no marriage in heaven. We then explained the sealing power of the priesthood and how what was sealed on Earth by this power was also sealed in Heaven. We also explained the differences between a civil marriage till Death do we part and a celestial marriage where you are sealed for time and all eternity.
She then asked us about this sealing power and the priesthood. My companion then went into all the different things that the priesthood can do and all men in the church who are in good standing can hold the Priesthood. Now comes one of the worst times in my life. She asked if we had the priesthood. My companion said that we did and all during this talk about the priesthood my heart kept getting lower and lower. She then asked if we could heal the sick with the priesthood just like Jesus did. My companion responded that we could. She then asked a question that would haunt me for many months to come. She asked, "Then why didn't you heal my husband with this power and make him better?"
Well I had thought that my heart had gotten about as low as it could get and that I couldn't get any lower but with that last question it was all I could do not to break down into tears and beg for her and my Heavenly Father's forgiveness. I felt like the lowest of the low and that I wasn't even worthy to crawl on my stomach let alone stand and be counted as one of the privileged few in these latter-days who has the blessing of being a holder of the priesthood with the ability and privilege to bless God's children. I just wanted to sit there and cry and tell her how sorry I was that I didn't ask because I was too afraid.
I didn't have anything to say and I just buried my face in my hands and tried not to cry. My companion said something that I don't remember and I didn't say anything and we left and never got to meet with Mark's family again because she moved back to Tennessee to live with her parents.
For months afterwards I was haunted with feelings of guilt and inadequacy over not giving Mark a blessing and often wondered if I would have given him a blessing if he would have gotten better and lived. However as I prayed and sought the counsel of my Father in Heaven I came to understand the lesson that I had learned. I have the power of God to bless his children. Its not something that we make up but a reality and I had it. I had the same power that caused the world to be organized out of chaos. I had the power that Christ had to heal the sick and the afflicted to cause the blind to see and the lame to walk. I wasn't given this power to simply sit their dormant but I was to use it when presented with opportunities to do so. I wasn't to seek out such opportunities but when I was presented with them I should act with faith as did my master Jesus Christ and call upon the powers of heaven to heal the sick and afflicted and bless them however my Father in Heaven directed me to.
The lesson I learned was to use the priesthood when I had an opportunity and not to be afraid of what might happen but to set into the darkness and have faith in my Savior Jesus Christ that he would light the way before me that it would no longer be darkness but light. After I realized the lesson I had learned I always listened to that voice and prompting to at least ask if someone wants a blessing from God. If they say no then its on their head but at least I have done all that I can. Since that day with Mark I have never failed to simply ask.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Why I served a Mormon Mission part VI
As the spring semster pressed on I continued to go to church and go to institute as well as all the other activities that I never new existed like Faimily Home Evening(FHE), the Instittute Men's Association (IMA), prayer meetings on Sunday nights and Friday devotionals and going to the temple to do baptisms. sIt was an amazing new experince for me and I continuted to learn and grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
One of the neatest new expeinces was taking more insititute classes than just the Book of Mormon class that I had taken that fall from President Clark. I signed up for a Doctrine and Covenants Class from Brother John Cardon who is simply amazing and helped introduce me both to Church History and revelations for our day that give us guidence as well as firmer foundation on which to understand the gospel in these latter days. Brother Cardon was a stud and he helped me also as another person that I could go to when I had gospel questions and concerns. I also took a New Testament class from Brother Morgan who had a teaching style that quickly captivated and held you attention. These great men helped to suppy the water and nutrients so that my roots could sink deep down into the ground and that I would contuinue to grow in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am eternanlly greatful to these men for doing what they do. Institute was a place I could go to increase my knowledge of the restored gospel and also learn at the feet of men who knew so much more than me.
Finally stake confrence appraoched and I was interviewed by Bishop Donaldson and by President Cox to see if I was worthy and prepared to recieve the Melchizdec Priesthood. I guess I passed because I was ordained an Elder in the Melchizdec Preisthood by Stephen W. Clark(the same guy who baptised me) that confrence. Jeff Spears was also ordained an Elder as was T.J.
That evening after Stake Confrence the sisters came and knocked on my door and asked me if I would give Marco Biavia who was an international student from Itatly a blessing. My mouth about hit the ground. I told the sisters I would and they told me to meet them at Marco's apartment in twenty minutes however I felt very scared. I didn't know what a blessing was. Well, okay I knew what a blessing was but I didn't know how to give one. I mean what do you say? How do you say it? What if you say the wrong thing? These thoughts and others raced through my mind. When President Cox interviewed me he explained to me that one of the duties required of someone who holds the Melkisidec Priesthood is that they must be ready and worthy to give a blessing whenever and whereever they are asked. Well I really wanted to honor the Priesthood that I had just been ordained to but I didn't know how to give a blessing.
Since time was short and it was Sunday I couldn't exactly go over to the institute and ask Borther Cardon or President Clark what to do. I figured Bishop D was busy so I went over across the hall and asked Rob one of my friends who was an RM what to do. Rob was awesome and Trever Alvold who ordained me to the Arronic Preisthood was also there and they went over the basic wording that I needed to have in the Blessing. They told me I needed to call the Person by their full name and say that I was blessing him by the Power of the Melikisidec Priesthood that I held and to do so in the Name of Jesus Christ and close in the Name of Jesus Christ. However it was the inbetween part that frightened me. I didn't know what to do there still so I asked, "So, I understand how to start and end but what do I say in the middle, are there phrases that everyone uses or things that I need to say. What are the things you are supposed to say?" Rob and Trevor just looked at eachother and said "Whatever the Lord tells you to say". Well that didn't answear my question at all and put me back where I started. I didn't know what to say.
One of the neatest new expeinces was taking more insititute classes than just the Book of Mormon class that I had taken that fall from President Clark. I signed up for a Doctrine and Covenants Class from Brother John Cardon who is simply amazing and helped introduce me both to Church History and revelations for our day that give us guidence as well as firmer foundation on which to understand the gospel in these latter days. Brother Cardon was a stud and he helped me also as another person that I could go to when I had gospel questions and concerns. I also took a New Testament class from Brother Morgan who had a teaching style that quickly captivated and held you attention. These great men helped to suppy the water and nutrients so that my roots could sink deep down into the ground and that I would contuinue to grow in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am eternanlly greatful to these men for doing what they do. Institute was a place I could go to increase my knowledge of the restored gospel and also learn at the feet of men who knew so much more than me.
Finally stake confrence appraoched and I was interviewed by Bishop Donaldson and by President Cox to see if I was worthy and prepared to recieve the Melchizdec Priesthood. I guess I passed because I was ordained an Elder in the Melchizdec Preisthood by Stephen W. Clark(the same guy who baptised me) that confrence. Jeff Spears was also ordained an Elder as was T.J.
That evening after Stake Confrence the sisters came and knocked on my door and asked me if I would give Marco Biavia who was an international student from Itatly a blessing. My mouth about hit the ground. I told the sisters I would and they told me to meet them at Marco's apartment in twenty minutes however I felt very scared. I didn't know what a blessing was. Well, okay I knew what a blessing was but I didn't know how to give one. I mean what do you say? How do you say it? What if you say the wrong thing? These thoughts and others raced through my mind. When President Cox interviewed me he explained to me that one of the duties required of someone who holds the Melkisidec Priesthood is that they must be ready and worthy to give a blessing whenever and whereever they are asked. Well I really wanted to honor the Priesthood that I had just been ordained to but I didn't know how to give a blessing.
Since time was short and it was Sunday I couldn't exactly go over to the institute and ask Borther Cardon or President Clark what to do. I figured Bishop D was busy so I went over across the hall and asked Rob one of my friends who was an RM what to do. Rob was awesome and Trever Alvold who ordained me to the Arronic Preisthood was also there and they went over the basic wording that I needed to have in the Blessing. They told me I needed to call the Person by their full name and say that I was blessing him by the Power of the Melikisidec Priesthood that I held and to do so in the Name of Jesus Christ and close in the Name of Jesus Christ. However it was the inbetween part that frightened me. I didn't know what to do there still so I asked, "So, I understand how to start and end but what do I say in the middle, are there phrases that everyone uses or things that I need to say. What are the things you are supposed to say?" Rob and Trevor just looked at eachother and said "Whatever the Lord tells you to say". Well that didn't answear my question at all and put me back where I started. I didn't know what to say.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Why I served a Mormon Mission Part V
As I stepped into President Clark's office so that I could talk to him about getting ordained to the higher priesthood I felt like I was climbing a ladder rung by rung. I knocked on the door to President Clark's office and he called for me to enter and we shook hands and he asked me to sit down. "Well JD, what can I do for you today?" he asked. "Well, President Clark I really want to get the Melchizedek Priesthood and Bishop Donaldson told me to come and talk to you about it." He then explained something to me that deflated me a little. "JD, what can you tell me about the Melchizedek Priesthood?" Well I really didn't know anything about it other than it was above the Arronic Priesthood and that's what I told him. "JD why do you want the Melchizedek Priesthood?" he asked. I felt like I had just been knocked off my ladder. "Well the only reason I really want it is so that I can do stuff in the temple, take the next step in the Gospel and it just seems so much better than something called the lesser priesthood." I told President Clark that and then he opened up to the Doctrine and Covenants and read me something about some oath and covenant of the priesthood. However as I listened to the words he read I started to get some understanding of just how serious this whole thing might be. He then gave me a homework assignment and told me to come back and talk to him about the verses and chapters he assigned me and to tell him what I thought and we would talk some more about the priesthood. Since Christmas break was coming up I decided I would have plenty of time to read these assigned chapters. Well I really don't remember to much about that Christmas other than I paid a little bit more attention to the reason for the season this year than I had in years before. As I read about the oath and covenant of the priesthood I was amazed by the promised blessings but didn't pay attention to what I had needed to do to obtain those blessings. Well when January finally arrived I started institute again and college and took the second part of the Book of Mormon Class from President Clark and also a Doctrine and Covenants class from Brother John Cardon and a New Testament class. I remember that first day of class with President Clark. He was teaching about accountability and he pointed to one of the young ladies in the room and asked if sister so and so committed X sin and so did JD who would be more accountable. Sister so and so (so and so because I don't remember her name) said she would because I was a new convert and she knew more than I did. President Clark then said something that has stuck with me to this day. He said, "While you may have been a member longer than JD and certainly know more about the Gospel than JD does he has the Arronic Priesthood and he is held to a higher standard." President Clark then went on to explain how as we progress in the gospel and as we gain more light and knowledge we become more accountable for our actions. He explained that when someone receives the Melchizedek Priesthood they become more accountable then someone who hold the Arronic Priesthood and someone who goes to the temple become even more accountable and receives even greater blessing but also receives greater condemnation if they fail to live up to their covenants. Well that got me thinking about if I really wanted to have the Melchizedek Priesthood. It didn't seem like a wise thing to put myself into a position where my chances of damnation only got higher. However as I thought about this class ended and as I walked out President Clark who always waited at the door leading out of the classroom so he could shake every ones hand( I still kinda thought the Mormon handshaking was a bit excessive and weird) as I shook his hand he asked if I had a few minutes to meet with him in his office. I told him I did and we walked over to his office which wasn't far from the classroom. Once in there he asked me how my Christmas break went. I told him my father gave me a hard time about joining the church and that he told me I was brainwashed and part of a cult. President Clark then explained to me that my father simply loved me and was watching out for me like any good father should and to love my father and not argue with him but at the same time stay strong in the faith(talk about a huge order). President Clark then asked me if I had read what he asked me to. I replied that I had but had some questions. We went over my questions and I don't really remember what they were but he answered them. He then asked me how I felt about receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood. I answered that honestly I was scared it seemed like something that required a lot of dedication. He smiled back at me and simply answered, "Well JD, it does. Do you know what the full name of the Melchizedek Priesthood is?" I responded, "No." He then told me to open my scriptures to D&C 107:3-4 and asked me to read what it said. I read, "Before his [Melchizedek's] day it was called the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God. But out of respect or reverence to the name of the Supreme Being, to avoid the too frequent repetition of his name, they, the church, in ancient days, called that priesthood after Melchizedek, or the Melchizedek Priesthood." I then asked him what the responsibilities of the Melchizedek priesthood were and if he thought I could handle them (thinking about being more accountable for my actions had given me some humility). He explained what the Melchizedek Priesthood was by having me read some verses in the Doctrine and Covenants and then he told me something that made my heart swell with joy. He said if I did a good job at magnifying the Arronic priesthood that I now held and blessed or passed the sacrament every Sunday and did my home teaching that he saw no reason that I might not be able to be ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood at Stake Conference in the Spring. I was excited about this and even more so because once I received the Melchizedek priesthood I could help baptise people in the temple and do other things there as well or at least so I thought. Well weeks passed by and I continued to read my scriptures and go to church and institute. I blessed or passed the sacrament every Sunday and I found it very easy to do my home teaching because the people I was supposed to visit lived across the hallway from me and one of them was Sheena so I had no problem getting one visit in a month since I was there every day. However during these early Spring months I was saddened to learn that once you are baptized the Sisters stopped visiting you very often. However I still could go to institute and ask questions and I also took up a lot of Bishop Donaldson's time with my questions and concerns.
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