So there I was without a clue as to what I was going to say when I gave Marco a blessing. All that Rob and Trevor would tell me was to just say whatever the spirit told me to say. Well the next few minutes flew by and it was time to go downstairs to Marco's room. When I got down there I noticed my buddy Jeff who was baptized a few weeks after me was also there (he had been ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood at the same time as me) and he said he was supposed to anoint Marco's head with oil. Well Jeff valiantly stepped behind Marco and asked Marco his full name and proceeded to put oil oil that had been set apart for the healing of the sick and afflicted on the top of Marco's head. He then called Macro by his full name and having the power and authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood anointed him.
It was then my turn. I figured that Jeff had gotten off easy. I wished that I could have done what he did that seemed a lot easier than figuring out what to say. Well it was time to man up so I went and laid my hands on Marco's head and called him by name and said that I sealed Jeff's anointing (because that's what you're supposed to say) by the power and authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood and in the name of Jesus Christ. Then one of the most miraculous things happened. As I started to worry about what to say words all of the sudden were spoken to my mind and spirit. I felt that someone had such amazing love for Marco and all of the sudden I just started to speak and the words were there. I wasn't simply just making up things to say or coming up with random platitudes but was relaying thoughts and feelings that were not my own. I can't tell you what I said because I don't remember. It wasn't for me to remember but what I do remember is this. That the words were not mine. They came from my Father in Heaven and I was simply acting as a voice.
However on this subject of priesthood blessing there was a lesson that I learned several years afterwards. I was visiting a family in North Carolina. It was a family that the missionaries before me had found and we were checking up on them. When we arrived in the trailer park they lived in we found two young boys playing catch with football in the front yard. We asked them if there mother or father were home and they said that they both were inside. We then went and knocked on the trailer's door and the mother answered. We explained who we were and that we would like to share a message with her about Jesus Christ. She said that her daddy was a minister and she would welcome anyone into her home who spoke of Jesus and that her husband was interested in different beliefs. Well that sounded good to us and it wasn't a slammed door.
We went inside and found the husband laying on one of the couches with an IV tube stuck in his arm leading up to an IV bag. After some getting to know you talk we finally asked why he had an IV and he explained the he had an accident at work where he was using a metal drill bit and drilling into a sheet of steal and something went wrong and the bit exploded and sent metal splinters into his arm and hand and that they hadn't been able get all the splinters out and some had become infected and they were worried about the smaller ones getting into his blood stream.
We shared the first lesson with them and left a Book of Mormon with them and Mark(the father) seemed very excited to read it. We set up a return appointment to come back in two days so that we could talk to him about what he read. He said he would read it and have questions for us.
Well two days passed by and we returned to Mark's house to follow up on his reading and see where he was. He seemed a little worse off today than he was a few days back and seemed a little disheartened. We asked him if he had read and he said he was only able to get through the title page and introduction and started on third Nephi Chp 11. He asked us some questions about Joseph Smith and how the book of Mormon was found and then asked if Christ really did visit America and we responded that he had. About halfway through our explanation of Christ's visit to the Americas Mark excused himself and went quickly into the back room and we heard some coughing and hacking coming from the bathroom. His wife quickly got up and went into the bathroom. She came back out five awkward minutes later and asked us if we could come back that evening that Mark wasn't doing to well. I got a feeling that I should ask her or him if he wanted a blessing but I decided that I shouldn't and suppressed this feeling.
Well we came back that evening and Mark's wife answered the door and invited us in. We asked how Mark was and she told us Mark was in the bedroom and wasn't feeling to well but that she said she would listen to what we had to teach and share it all with Mark. Well that sounded okay to us so we taught part of the second lesson and four or five times our lesson was interrupted because she had to get up and check on Mark when we heard a really bad set of coughing. Each time she got up I got this little feeling that I should mention Priesthood blessings and that I should offer to give Mark a blessing. But each time I didn't listen to it. I was worried about if she would think we were weird or that we some kind of cult. I was also worried about what if we gave him a blessing and he didn't get better or he got worse. I was also worried about losing this family as investigators if somehow our blessing failed. So each time I got a feeling to give Mark a blessing or ask if we could I silenced that feeling and buried it deep inside me. We ended up only getting through about half the second lesson and it was time to go. We said our good byes and walked out the door. As we were walking out the front door I received a very strong impression to give mark a blessing but I walked out the door anyway. As got in the car and my companion started to drive away I received an impression to ask my companion to turn the car around and for us to knock on Mark's door and give him a blessing. However just like all the other times that day I ignored it and let my companion drive because I was afraid to give him a blessing.
We stopped by Mark's house the next day to check and see how he was doing only to find his wife crying on the front steps. Concerned we went up and asked what was wrong. She told us that Mark had gotten worse after we left and that a few hours after we left he started to get real sick and she called 911 and that Mark had died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Well the first thing I thought of was the feelings and impressions I had from the previous day to give him a blessing. I felt about as low as a man can feel but I sucked it up and asked her if she we could share one of the happiest things that we knew about. She said any ray of light would be a good appreciated.
Well we then started to explain to her about the eternal nature of families and how husbands and wives can be together forever. We explained about temples and we finished the rest of the plan of salvation lesson. She asked how it was that marriage could be forever because she had always been taught that there was no marriage in heaven. We then explained the sealing power of the priesthood and how what was sealed on Earth by this power was also sealed in Heaven. We also explained the differences between a civil marriage till Death do we part and a celestial marriage where you are sealed for time and all eternity.
She then asked us about this sealing power and the priesthood. My companion then went into all the different things that the priesthood can do and all men in the church who are in good standing can hold the Priesthood. Now comes one of the worst times in my life. She asked if we had the priesthood. My companion said that we did and all during this talk about the priesthood my heart kept getting lower and lower. She then asked if we could heal the sick with the priesthood just like Jesus did. My companion responded that we could. She then asked a question that would haunt me for many months to come. She asked, "Then why didn't you heal my husband with this power and make him better?"
Well I had thought that my heart had gotten about as low as it could get and that I couldn't get any lower but with that last question it was all I could do not to break down into tears and beg for her and my Heavenly Father's forgiveness. I felt like the lowest of the low and that I wasn't even worthy to crawl on my stomach let alone stand and be counted as one of the privileged few in these latter-days who has the blessing of being a holder of the priesthood with the ability and privilege to bless God's children. I just wanted to sit there and cry and tell her how sorry I was that I didn't ask because I was too afraid.
I didn't have anything to say and I just buried my face in my hands and tried not to cry. My companion said something that I don't remember and I didn't say anything and we left and never got to meet with Mark's family again because she moved back to Tennessee to live with her parents.
For months afterwards I was haunted with feelings of guilt and inadequacy over not giving Mark a blessing and often wondered if I would have given him a blessing if he would have gotten better and lived. However as I prayed and sought the counsel of my Father in Heaven I came to understand the lesson that I had learned. I have the power of God to bless his children. Its not something that we make up but a reality and I had it. I had the same power that caused the world to be organized out of chaos. I had the power that Christ had to heal the sick and the afflicted to cause the blind to see and the lame to walk. I wasn't given this power to simply sit their dormant but I was to use it when presented with opportunities to do so. I wasn't to seek out such opportunities but when I was presented with them I should act with faith as did my master Jesus Christ and call upon the powers of heaven to heal the sick and afflicted and bless them however my Father in Heaven directed me to.
The lesson I learned was to use the priesthood when I had an opportunity and not to be afraid of what might happen but to set into the darkness and have faith in my Savior Jesus Christ that he would light the way before me that it would no longer be darkness but light. After I realized the lesson I had learned I always listened to that voice and prompting to at least ask if someone wants a blessing from God. If they say no then its on their head but at least I have done all that I can. Since that day with Mark I have never failed to simply ask.
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